Monday, September 17, 2007

Another Entry about My Skin...

Digital Camera's are usually nice to me.
So if you've never met me or haven't seen me in years, you wouldn't know that I have severe scarring on my face.

My mom told me that when I came home from Berkeley her "mother's heart was pained to see so many marks on my face." (In Vietnamese of course.) When I got a haircut, I told the lady that I enjoyed Bun Bo Hue. She proclaimed, "that's why you have so many pimples, you like spicy food." The stranger meant to make conversation, not to be rude. Sometimes, being honest is good, but maybe pretending that I am worthy of being remembered as attractive will prevent me from thinking that I am worthless. I'm pretty confident, outgoing, you would think that I have more things going for me that I don't let superficial issues bog me down. Please continue to think that about me because that's nice. But I do think about stuff like this because everyone else does.

I remember Christmas when I was given Pore Clarifying Gel as a present. I remember playing Scattegories and someone saying, "Acne medicine? Chris should know ALL about that!"

Every night I yell at myself if I fall asleep without using RetinA as if I were an alcoholic: dependant on a substance that provides momentary hope... or at least covers up dispair for the time being.

....

yuck, what a weakness. please don't let this entry let you think less of me. I have a lot going for me and I have a lot to offer where other's lack. That's enough for people to remember me by. And maybe the only person that let's my scars define me is ... myself. (LOL) If only I could read your mind.

1 comment:

dannie said...

you're not the only one, just remember that. It's good that you're outgoing and don't let it get to you, even though sometimes it does.