Sunday, August 12, 2007

Deteriorating Censorship

Why don't people speak their mind? Because of the fear of being judged, inadequate or inappropriate. In this society, it makes sense, but when walls are lowered leaving nothing but honesty exposed there is a great sense of relief no doubt. And recipients of honesty react. This weekend, I took the opportunity and was honest with someone that I never thought I would be honest to.

I felt shady because I had motives, but instead of acting on desire, I acted on intelligence. Instead of giving up my body, I gave up my mind. I was honest and exposed and told my friend about things that aren't shared unless you're drunk, but I let my guard down regardless. He asked me if I was gay, and I said yeah. I was being myself. I was no longer censoring words. In return, he told me more about himself. We connected and I found myself without silence. I wanted to tell him everything I was censoring, he wanted to listen. He asked the right questions and even though I was telling him more about me, I felt as if I knew him better. When I had to say good-bye, I felt content. I finally lowered my wall and connected with someone outside of my definitions. And I couldn't have asked for a better outcome. But ironically, I probably won't see him ever again.

Hairchive: The Not-So-Trendy Taiwanese

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